Could anyone tell me what I’m supposed to do with my Wednesdays without jTBC’s adorable Family by Choice?
A poignant and soothing exploration of love and family, Family by Choice was the show I didn’t realise I needed. And I guess I wasn’t the only one: according to Soompi, the show topped Viki’s viewership ratings in more than 140 countries. Without any crazy cliffhangers, Family by Choice kept us coming back for a single reason: it made us care. With an extraordinary cast and a comforting plot, jTBC’s latest family dramedy sparked our affection and curiosity thanks to a combination of themes that resonate with anyone. After all, it managed to discuss not only family and love but also friendship and even masculinity with a lightness of touch.
This review contains spoilers! Read it at your own risk! For a spoiler-free summary, check our pin at the bottom!
A Quick Summary Before We Start…
Written by Hong Si-young and directed by Kim Seung-ho, Family by Choice is a remake of Hunan TV’s well-loved Go Ahead (China, 2020). This is the tale of Ju-won (Jung Chae-yeon), a girl who lost her mother when she was only a baby and was then raised by her loving father, Jeong-jae (Choi Won-young). When she was seven, she was thrilled to learn that San-ha (Hwang In-youp), a young boy just a couple of years older than her, had moved into the apartment upstairs. This was the chance she needed to have an “oppa” (or older brother). San-ha’s mother soon abandons him, and he’s raised by his quiet but caring father, Dae-uk (Choi Moo-sung).
Jeong-jae crosses paths with Seo-hyeon (Baek Eun-hye), who is a single mother to little Hae-jun (Bae Hyeon-seong). When she runs off to Seoul to pay her debts, leaving Hae-jun behind, Jeong-jae decides to raise him as his own son. Ju-won, San-ha, and Hae-jun grow up together until the boys leave their little town in their last year of high school. Ju-won is, understandably, crushed by the departure of the only people she can consider family. Ten years later, San-ha and Hae-jun come back to stay. But was their bond strong enough to survive such a long separation?
Disclaimer: This review is about the Korean series Family by Choice. As I believe jTBC created an alternative, independent story to the original, I won’t be comparing the two versions at all.
Family by Choice: Rebelling Against Traditional Models
Family by Choice explores a simple yet emotionally resonant tale of family and friendship, showing our human capacity for both kindness and meanness, selflessness and selfishness. It reminds us of how warm and welcoming we can be, how generous love truly is, and how the bonds that truly matter have nothing to do with blood.
Despite its facade of innocence and simplicity, Family by Choice actually destroys much of what traditional values tend to preach. Ju-won, San-ha, and Hae-jun’s tale completely reframes conventional notions of family for several different reasons.
Jeong-jae and Dae-uk: Breaking Masculine Stereotypes
First, the story stands out by having fathers playing the main role in the raising of children. Jeong-jae and Dae-uk prove that men can be just as loving, caring, and attentive as any old-fashioned description of “motherly care” might tell you. They don’t hesitate to provide their children with unconditional, nurturing, and all-embracing love. This care is clear at all times, even if Dae-uk is shier and more reserved than Jeong-jae.
Even beyond the affection they show their children, their friendship is also one to be looked up to. They are completely honest with each other and aren’t scared of broaching difficult topics. Such is their sense of companionship that you can’t imagine one without the other. Their characters break away from the standard model of masculinity, allowing them to be well-rounded and inspiring roles that go much further than one-dimensional stereotypes.
Family by Choice: The Bonds We Create
Second, Family by Choice poses a very clear question throughout: “What really is family?” Through its well-structured narrative and well-developed characters, the answer is loud and clear. Instead of the categorical notion of blood relations, family is a complex dynamic that we voluntarily create and have to cherish to maintain. Family is the bond of care, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, and support that we establish with others, regardless of genetics. It’s free from the consuming domestic demands, expectations, and pressure that we often see. However, it still depends on the effort we have to willingly put into it to keep it alive and strong.
The connection between Ju-won, San-ha, Hae-jun, Jeong-jae, and Dae-uk is based on this unique bond, but wavers when San-ha and Hae-jun fail to keep a line of communication open despite the distance. It’s once they remember the importance and the preciousness of this dynamic that they realise that they need to return home, to strengthen this link once again.
Family is based, in essence, on an endlessly generous and selfless kind of love, which these characters embody to an extraordinary degree. That’s why Ju-won can move past her heartbreak, and that’s also why San-ha and Hae-jun can understand her.
Family by Choice (or not): Our Innate Affection Towards Our Parents
And yet, Family by Choice still reminds us that we feel instinctively responsible for our blood connections. Regardless of how much your parents may hurt you, they are still your parents. Children often feel an inherent sense of affection towards their mother and father, naturally expecting that affection to be reciprocated. They want to be seen and accepted for who they are, just like they embrace their parents with such candour.
That’s why Hae-jun hopes that his mother will come back to take him, but feels devastated when he finally finds her. It’s his understanding of family and the altruistic love that it encompasses — the one he’s learned from Jeong-jae and Dae-uk — that allows him to understand her reasons and welcome her into their clan once again. That’s also why San-ha feels somehow indebted to his mother, being constantly tortured by a feeling of both love and hate. He loves her because she’s his mother, but he can’t help but despise her for abandoning him and treating him with contempt. Still, he works hard to communicate with her, forgive her, and care for her despite his pain.
Family by Choice: Half Utopian, Half Realistic
That leads to how the show managed to paint a constellation of human characters: our little main family is one of pure heart and tenderness, but they are still flawed.
Family by Choice can also be seen as Ju-won, San-ha, and Hae-jun’s coming-of-age story and by the end of the show, they’re still figuring out the adults they want to be. Despite clear progress throughout the show’s 16 episodes, they still shoulder a bit too much responsibility and struggle to communicate openly and sincerely at times. Their wounds haven’t healed completely, and their insecurities are still present. But you know that their support system is steadfast. That makes you wonder about the challenges they’ll still have to overcome together, giving you a warm feeling that the universe of Family by Choice will continue to exist beyond its 16-episode run.
Jeong-jae and Dae-uk also prove that even the very best parents are human and still make mistakes. It’s their willingness to learn, grow, and adapt that makes all the difference. Hae-jun’s mother is well-intentioned, but the reasons behind her actions come from old-fashioned concepts of family and social image. She’s obsessed with the idea of sacrifice for her son, but in the end, also understands that being family is about the bond and not any sense of duty.
On the other hand, San-ha’s mother, Jeong-hui (Kim Hye-eun), is probably the most egotistical person you’ll ever meet — and she doesn’t have any real redemption arc. Her presence in the story is needed to contrast with the family that San-ha comes to create, and her refusal to change reminds us that this isn’t a fairy tale. Some people really don’t change. Some people really don’t understand that they were wrong. Some people really do refuse to apologise.
And so, Family by Choice feels both utopian and realistic, as if they represent everything we are and remind us of everything we could be.
The Narrative Structure: Romance as a Subplot
With a well-paced script, heartfelt dialogue, and magnificent performances, Family by Choice is the ultimate comfort watch. The story engages the audience by proposing several conflicts: most of them are small and solved within one or two episodes, letting only the main arcs linger throughout. There are no unnecessary complications, no dragging storylines.
Since the focus was always on family, romance is a second thought. If anything, Family by Choice could’ve easily had an extra two to four episodes to elaborate on the romantic relationships. Either way, love stories were dealt with clarity and maturity.
San-ha and Ju-won: An Idea Planted Right From The Start
San-ha and Ju-won, our main romantic pairing, are raised together but with enough distance to allow for a diverse kind of affection to grow between them. Their dynamic, from the very beginning, is completely different from the dynamic between Ju-won and Hae-jun.
San-ha is keen to clarify that Ju-won isn’t his sister, and, during high school, he realises that his feelings for Ju-won are different from Hae-jun’s feelings for her. Even though Ju-won is completely unaware, no matter how much he casually nudges her towards his real intentions, San-ha and Ju-won’s story is full of fuzzy micro-expressions and chemistry-filled encounters and incidents. As an adult, Ju-won is mature enough to take their relationship slowly and to seek her father’s advice to honestly understand her feelings.
The Fraternal Love Between Ju-won and Hae-jun: How It Explains Later Plotlines
Meanwhile, Hae-jun and Ju-won are obviously siblings. Raised by the same father, in the same home, Hae-jun and Ju-won have a relationship based on trust and care, but that has a tinge of playfulness, rivalry, and curiosity. He’s protective of her but never jealous, which becomes clear when Ju-won goes on a date during high school.
This fraternal love between the two is so strong within their household that it leads to both Hae-jun and Jeong-jae’s initial disapproval of San-ha and Ju-won’s romance. From Hae-jun’s point of view, San-ha and Ju-won are his siblings, and it would be impossible for him to be attracted to any of them. Not only that, but San-ha and Ju-won being together means that he automatically becomes the odd one out.
Jeong-jae understands the risks of a romantic attachment between San-ha and Ju-won, which, from his perspective of profound filial love, could endanger the family they so carefully built together. After all, he witnessed the two of them grow in the same way and loved them equally. What if they fight? What then? For him, the risks outweigh the advantages.
In this process, they naturally failed to identify both San-ha’s and, later, Ju-won’s changing hearts. But, in the end, it’s the real spirit of family — the beating heart of Family by Choice — that allows both Hae-jun and Jeong-jae to understand our two lovebirds. After all, family is all about support, faith, and reliance.
The Greatest Thing about Romance in Family by Choice
San-ha and Ju-won’s romantic storyline is developed organically, just like the one between Hae-jun and the wonderful Dal (Seo Ji-hye). In the finale, we also had Jeong-jae and Seo-hyeon’s wedding, which ultimately officialised Jeong-jae and Hae-jun’s father-son relationship. All of them would’ve benefited from more time for a more detailed exploration of both the initial engagement and development of their relationships, but what we got was enough for a show whose main focus lay somewhere else. After all, we didn’t have any ludicrous love triangles or breakups, so that already makes Family by Choice a breath of fresh air.
The Visual and Emotional Beauty of Family by Choice
Kim Seung-ho directed Family by Choice with warmth, having our little family live in a universe painted in a warm colour palette and intimate compositions. The overall look of the show and the editing weren’t anything revolutionary, but they conveyed the familiarity this story needed.
The performances were an absolute joy to watch. Jung Chae-yeon, Hwang In-youp, and Bae Hyeon-seong exude chemistry while giving their characters nuanced and strong personalities. Chae-yeon delivers innocence and sweetness, her character growing from a smiley, chatty, and bold teenager into a much more guarded and judicious yet vivacious adult. In-youp and Hyeon-seong are enormously charming, and both handle emotionally heavy scenes remarkably. Hyeon-seong says so much with his eyes, creating a truly layered performance.
Both Choi Won-young and Choi Moo-sung are equally enchanting and hilarious. You constantly find yourself looking forward to seeing them. You also can’t help but fall in love with Seo Ji-hye’s Dal — and we can only wish we’d spent more time with her wonderful character. Meanwhile, Kim Hye-eun’s Jeong-hui makes you truly hate her, which means that she delivered her character successfully.
However, the real scene-stealers are the child cast. Following tvN’s Love Next Door, Oh Eun-seo continues to mesmerise us with her talent — and cuteness. Choi Jae-yoon makes us cry with his longing for a father, and Shin Seo-woo makes us feel his pain, despair, and heartbreak. These three delivered truly memorable performances and deserve all the praise we can give them.
The soundtrack is mellow and doesn’t have any songs that really stand out, except for the final song, My Beautiful Name is You, sung by Chae-yeon, In-youp, and Hyeon-seong. Having our protagonists sing the final tune makes the finale even more wholesome. You can listen to it on Spotify.
Should You Watch Family by Choice?
Absolutely! Family by Choice is a gem. Heartfelt, gracious, and entertaining, it reminds us of our human capacity for generosity and how warm and unconditional love can be. It also sets a good example of a story that doesn’t have an absolutely neat ending, but that sets the audience up to believe that its characters will continue to grow and evolve beyond its episode run. Family by Choice is an absolute must-watch.
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